Saturday, April 23, 2011

Just Breathe

So the Crazy Bride had a good week this week....I was able to "let go" a bit, check my Type A personality at the door and have some much needed bridal moments.

The sounds track starting last Saturday was...tick, tock, tick, tock...just a loud internal clock reminding me how much wasn't done, late and left to do.  With under a month and a half left before the big day, wedding invites were still waiting to go out...yikes, late...i know, but everyone is SUPPOSED to be saving the date...the lighting company still needs to be booked, songs still need to be selected...although if anyone has any good walk down the aisle songs, I am open to suggestions...really can't wrap my head around 'Here Comes the Bride' (it will be 'there goes the bride' if that starts playing..lol), catering menu needs to be finalized, so I can make menus and well I have a final count due in 2 weeks to my vendors...which, let me tell ya is pretty difficult when the invitations are in pieces on the kitchen table...and that is only items one through three on a laundry list of wedding related tasks that is about 30-40 deep and daunting.

But as I said, this ended up being a good week....so what changed?

Saturday night I got a Facebook message from an old co-worker saying a producer friend of her's was looking for brides-to-be (benefit of being an LA bride)...while my first thought was maybe she was casting for Bridezilla and wanted the Crazy Bride to be a spectacle, I wrote back and said that if there was anything I could do to help, feel free to give me a call.  I got a call that night and what resulted was far from my initial Bridezilla thoughts, but an opportunity to appear on a sponsored segment called 'My Own Time' on OWN..Oprah's new network....yes please, sign me up!  So it took me about 2.2 seconds to decide that this was brilliant and agreed to do it.  Please note, that as I am on the phone on Saturday night, I am feeding DIY invitations through the printer....which unfortunately even though people were willing to help, sometimes you just to have to 'do it yourself'...type A kicks in!

After that, Sunday - Wednesday ended up being utter chaos.  The show needed me to shoot some segments around the house, which at this point is a disaster of wedding stuff, so even finding a spot with no wedding do-dads in the background was tough.  I had a incredibly busy week at work with tons of proposals and admin that NEEDED to be done and for the love of god...the bane of my existence at this point...the invitations  NEEDED to get out...already 3 weeks late!  Not to mention just day to day life and events during the week that we had agreed to attend were still in play.  Emotions and stress had reached critical mass.  I literally didn't have an ounce of the sanity and peace and calm that I so enjoy.  I found myself sitting on the floor in our kitchen sobbing trying to move things in the cabinet around to try to restore some order to the disorder we were living in.

I knew I needed to delegate and take the help that people were offering, but I had been holding everything so close to the vest.  Then my fella stepped in and in essence took over...didn't give me a chance to say 'I'll just do it myself'....which is kinda my M.O....thinking I can somehow handle it all.  Thursday, came home grabbed the camera and shot me doing different wedding related planning things around the house.  Then he and I attacked the invitations.  NOTE:  If you get invitations that required 100 bows to be tied, pay someone.  Only 1 out of every 10 actually comes out how they look in the picture on the box.  I went upstairs and just addressed envelopes.  He assembled and tied bows and stuffed in envelopes.  At this point, I had let go and trusted that what he was putting out was going to be fine.  I just didn't have the capacity to care about bow tying and realized I just cared more about the help and was able to take a moment and feel good that we were "moving the needle".

Yesterday ended up being an amazing experience shooting the segment.  For me it ended up being more about putting things in perspective, then being on TV.  The host Kristin..if any of you remember the Lubiderm commercial with the alligator, she was the girl with smooth skin....was super nice and gave me an older sister pep talk that I was in desperate need of.  I don't want to give TOO much away, as its supposed to air on May 20 at 4pm, but they did my hair and makeup and I slipped into my dress...which you may think is crazy to do before the wedding...but it was nice to take that moment and look in the mirror and look totally "bridal" and really realize...holy crap I am getting married!!  There were no thoughts of, I hope I don't trip or I hope the centerpieces turn out ok, no bridemaids fawning over my super bridal awesomeness....just me looking in the mirror realizing that the wedding is just a day, a moment in time...a amazing moment...but that the marriage...what this is all about...is where my focus should be and stay.  I was able to shed so much stress from the planning in that moment and what felt like first time in 2 months really....breathe.

Ah the realizations and epiphanies of the Crazy Bride!

Friday, April 8, 2011

Wedding Weight...the Crazy Bride Timeline for Fitness

AHHHH....the joys of getting that wedding body!  I mean honestly, what is that all about anyways?!?!?  Why are brides everywhere so focused on looking thin on their wedding day?

If you think about it, your friends and family love you regardless...they are actually into you for your personality...and your man, well he wants to hitch his wagon to you for the next 60 years or so, so he is obviously digging your flow...so WHY, do we, as brides, put ALL this pressure on ourselves to be so fit, so skinny, so crazy to drop lb's leading up to the big day?

I question this, but I also fell victim to this.  When I met my fella, I was 26, single and didn't have a care in the world.  I lived 5 minutes from work and got out at 5:30pm on the dot.  I was content filling up my evenings with spinning and cardio kickboxing classes that had 6pm starts and then went home and cooked/nibbled on a meal for one....ta-dah....125 lbs, solid, single, sexy!  Fast forward 3 years, early 30's, living with my guy and dog, a major knee surgery, broken foot, at least 3 years of nesting...which included not going to the gym and way to much beer, wine and eating out...tadah...153lbs, doughy, engaged, sparkling personality....yikes!

So about a year and a half ago...after looking at one to many pictures from holiday parties where my 2nd chin was determined to be the star...I decided something needed to change.  I needed to be healthy but I also needed my swagger back...it had gone into hiding around 140lbs.  But how to get back on track?  I decided I needed something active and fun.  Since I have a horrible history of injuring myself, contact sports (soccer, basketball, etc) were out of the question.  I hadn't been to the gym in awhile (conservative estimate) and I knew I wasn't in the right head space yet to go back.  Luckily, one of my friends was teaching a pole aerobics class.  It was just what I needed, it was fun, different, still athletic, non-contact (key!) and I felt like I was supporting a friend.  Because the class was full of people I knew, it made me accountable...which I needed...and it was social.  Tuesday night was MY night!!
Did I lose a ton of weight doing this....not really, a few maybe....but I felt good about myself and it was an important catalyst in regaining my 'me' time which I had let dwindle and replaced with 'we' time, since moving in with my guy.

After the engagement party, I still looked...we'll go with...puffier....than I would like to be.  I tried to make some changes, but going into the holidays...it was tough.   At this point, I was at least getting into the gym to do some biking, but definitely needed to amp it up.  About mid-Jan, I "flipped the switch", with 5 1/2 months till the wedding, I was running out of time for excuses.  Starving myself during the month of May, just wasn't an option.  My saving grace....GROUPON!!  Tons of fitness deals, great prices, low commitment.  I have spent the last 4 months just trying out all the fun boutique gyms in the area that I would not normally go to since I can't wrap my head around paying $25-$35 for a single class...I hope you can't either.  I got a little posse of friends who were down to try them out as well and its been fun!

So the first piece of the fitness puzzle...working out...you can see how that's going, but I knew I needed to change my habits.  I went to Whole Foods and bought a Whole Body Cleanse...as a ceremonial start to healthy eating...clean slate.  I said goodbye to alcohol for a month and a half (minus SuperBowl Sunday)...no more margs, goodbye delicious micro-brews and no more evening glasses of vino, which let's be honest was never just one glass.  If you want to see weight drop, SAY GOODBYE TO ALCOHOL....I wouldn't have believed it, but I rapidly dropped about 8lbs.  I really focused on eating good foods like fish and chicken with red meat once a week and cut out my vices.  No more pizza, Chipotle burritos.. which taste better with sour cream and guac...McNuggies, Baja Fresh Nacho Chicken Burrito....delicious, but all gone!

Three months later I am at 135lb with a month and a half left before the wedding and my dress fits PERFECT.  Somewhere in the middle of this process, it became less about losing the weight and more about gaining a lifestyle.  This is not a crash diet, this is me realizing that I need moderation in my life.  I have added things back in, but this time it is only A beer or ONE glass of wine.  Its about understanding that life isn't slowing down anytime soon and that I need to be able to strike that balance between 'me' and 'we' and that diet and exercise is a part of taking care of me and ultimately my family.

I am happy that I have found what I believe is a sustainable lifestyle, so that when I walk down the aisle, it will not be a snapshot of how I look on that one day, but how representative of how I will take care of myself during our life together.

Ahhh...the realizations of the crazy bride....seems like I won't have to be crazy forever!

Cheers!